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I recently heard my son-in-law admonish my grandson that he was crying like a girl. Oh, the seeds we sow. We women wonder why our men can't be more 'sensitive.' Men wonder why they have ulcers and other side effects from stopping-up emotions. "Stop crying like a girl," might be part of the answer.
How about a look at the benefits of crying?
Lots of people think crying is a sign of depression...not necessarily. People that are severely depressed don't cry...they are numb. I have cried for joy, sadness, excitement, because of anger... for lots of reasons. But then – I'm a girl.
Neurobiologist Dr. William Frey has been researching tears since 1983. He writes that when no shame or self-reproach chokes off our tears, when we give ourselves permission to cry, we can short circuit intense emotions. According to Dr. Frey, 85% of women and 73% of men note rapid reduction of painful emotions after a good cry. The average crying spell is about 3-6 minutes. Have you ever full out cried for 6 minutes...exhausting isn't it? How DO babies do that-no wonder they keep on going – it hurts!
Dr. Frey has also shown that when we tear up from eye irritation (non-emotional reason) the chemistry of our tears is very different from a cry over disappointment (emotional reason). He states that the chemical makeup of an emotional tear contains by-products from stress hormones.
John Preston, PSY.D., states in his book: LIFT YOUR MOOD NOW, "It is perplexing, unfortunate, and downright stupid that our culture has come to look down on crying. It's natural, it's safe, and it's effective. In fact, if you give yourself permission to cry, in a few minutes you'll likely feel /more/ in control! It may seem paradoxical, but it works."
I highly recommend Preston's book, published by New Harbinger Publications, Inc. Now – where is my son-in-law? He needs a good whoopin' and I hope he cries like a girl!!
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