My daughter-in-law (daughter) remarked that she will never forget the mental picture of my dear friend, Dianna (Traverse City), and my head bent together trying to repair my hem that had come undone at the wedding. She saw that as a picture of lifelong friends caring for each other. Coco was plugged in to the moment. I hope she has a friend that would sit calmly with her and UNsuccessfully glue a hem.
Callie's stitches are healed by now and she is off to pre-school. Callie's strong lungs made sure we didn't miss a single moment of her stitches. We have noticed she has her own way of dealing with separation anxiety. She says good-bye to her mom at the classroom entrance and then goes into the classroom closet and shuts the door. I'm not sure what happens after that but trust the teacher to get her interested in something other than counting the coat hangers.
Back to my point: Listen, truly listen. Be present at your special, precious, present moments.
Think for a moment of the last conversation you had this morning or last night, perhaps it was five minutes ago or eight hours ago. Did you totally listen; were you totally present? Did you invest every part of yourself in that conversation? Or, were you thinking about what to take out to the car, to work, instead of really interacting? Did you find yourself yelling something like, "Hurry up the bus is coming and I'm NOT taking you to school!" When you dropped the baby off at the sitter, did you look into that little face and say, "Good bye, I'll miss you. I'll see you real soon."
What would have been different if this conversation was you Last conversation? As you may know I don't subscribe to the "live as if this were you last day" philosophy. That would not be healthy for me at all. If this is my last day, I need to run to the store for a carton of cigarettes, a big bottle of Jim Beam and a huge bag of M&M's!
I bet that if your last conversation were your "last conversation," the quality of that interaction would have been different. I would guess the dialogue would have been more meaningful and we would have listened with greater attention. We would INVEST ourselves in the interaction.
I can share a small example: Mitch Albom, WJR Detroit radio syndicated drive time program, Albom In The Afternoon, author of TUESDAY'S WITH MORRIE, and more recently, "THE FIVE PEOPLE YOU'LL MET IN HEAVEN," was doing a book signing in our small town. The line to get an autographed book was a block long. It was so long that people began to make jokes to help the time pass, "Gee I didn't know this many people in Fremont could read." The bookstore manager came out at least twice to tell us that Mitch would stay until all the books were signed, but would we please not ask for attention, pictures, special signings etc. He had been signing for two hours.
As I got closer I heard folks asking for special messages to be written, "to my best buddy Georgie." I knew Mr. Albom was late already for his next book signing in Toledo, but he continued to rapidly write and sign. When it was finally my turn, he took my book and opened it to the front page with pen poised. I said to the top of his head, "Your name is more than enough." He stopped, looked directly at me and said, "Thank you." In all that chaos he was still really listening. He heard more than my words and took the time to sincerely communicate.
Granted-we might not make it to work if we had "last conversations" with everyone who crossed our path and I don't think I could handle that kind of intensity all the time. The point is: to look for those people who enhance our lives, positive, giving, inspiring, supportive people. Once we find them, listen.
Goal: Have a "last conversation" with a caring person at least once a day this month.
Tock
"Butterflies count not months but moments, and yet still have time enough." The Good Life Almanac
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