I had a call from a lady this week. She wanted me to explain lesson seven (Assertiveness) a bit more. It seems that her boyfriend said, "No," when she asked him to rake her leaves. On top of that atrocity, he didn't give an explanation! She was flabbergasted that he didn't explain himself, one. And two, "Shouldn't he have raked the leaves?" Why? "Because I asked him to!"
It is a happy day when people do what we want them to, isn't it? But-you are not Queen and this is not your queendom. "But if he loved me..." Unfortunately I had to burst her bubble and let her know that her "should's" might not necessarily be his "should's" and that obviously he didn't equate raking leaves with love. (Women may think like that but men don't.)
She tried again, "He should have done it to make me happy." She got the standard speech on the subject of: Who is in charge of our happiness? In short: If we assign 'happiness duty,' the assignee may not want the job. They may choose to leave rather than rake the leaves. The only person you can count on to make you happy is YOU.
Happiness is a choice.
Happiness is an inside job.
"There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way." - Wayne Dyer
How many times have we thought more money would make us happy? How many 'bad hair days' have you had? How many times have we thought a new piece of jewelry or piece of equipment would make us happy?
No ONE,
No THING, can make me happy.
Our expectations are designed from our beliefs. Our beliefs come from our interpretation of our life experiences. Our experiences include the associated feelings. Feelings make an 'imprint' in our memory banks...from which we design our beliefs.
Listen for facts. Look for solutions. Operate from facts, NOT feelings.
Happy Days to You,
Carolyn
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