As I looked at my classmates I noticed that most of them were as cosmetically challenged as I. We all looked a lot more relaxed, and it wasn't just because our faces were sagging into our necks. Perhaps I was seeing what I was looking for, perhaps I was finally seeing what was always there, and perhaps we have all evolved to a more peaceful place. I'm not sure, but I'm glad I'm finally there. My friend Susie calls this stage of life the: "Whatever Stage." "What if someone laughs at my hair?" "Whatever." What if someone ... . Whatever.

What REALLY matters? Isn't it interesting how our focus can change over the years? It once "mattered" that I didn't have store-bought clothes. Now we admire those who can make their own unique clothing. (Any one out there remember feed sack dresses? NO!? Whatever! )

It seems that I have taken 8 years to accept being 50. I promise myself – I will accept and look for the good if I am allowed to have another decade or two... or three... .

"I don't want to someday become seventy and think I lost twenty years feeling bad. I would really be mad at myself." –Marilyn from JUICY TOMATOES

TOOLS
I participated in what I consider a GREAT phone support call this morning. A young man was expressing his impatience at the time he was spending "healing." Just knowing the steps, doing the relaxation tape and exercising should just make it go away! Why not?! Hearing me say, "It just doesn't work that way," wasn't helping.

I used a couple of my tried and true examples to make a picture in his mind of recovery-the process. One I like is walking through a meadow. It takes a few walks before there is a pathway. The old path to the panic place is well worn, easier to step on and run. It takes time, perseverance and many repetitions before the new/different path is easy to walk.

He replied that he felt like he had 6 doors open a crack. We decided that he should label those doors. I believe in being VERY specific in our visualization. So he decided door number one would open to Christ. He wanted to go to Christ first. I asked him what would Christ be doing? What would the expression be on His face? (See how specific I wanted him to be? This is important folks.) He told me that he sees Christ with His arms open, welcoming him into a protective hug-unconditional love. Sounds like a pretty nice door to open-all the way.

I suggested that door number two was recognition and acceptance of what he was feeling, to see himself in an armored suit and strong, open the door all the way. You are capable of seeing what's behind that door. It's just anxiety! Door number three was labeled: Breathe. Open the door and stand in front of it for 60 seconds. Breathe, inhaling for 2 full seconds and blowing out for 4 seconds, count... We labeled the doors with the six steps.

This was off the top- I am sure that you can make the imagery better. You may have certain images that are more soothing to you than the ones I chose.

My hope is that this phone support call will help you design another tool for your knapsack of life management skills. Bbbbrrrrring, One ring-a-dingy... ... .