A Bridge of Healing
By Wanda Deal

"Oh No!" This had become my first reaction every time my husband asked me to go to one of his favorite restaurants. I worked hard at finding an excuse why we should not go. It seemed I was always putting him off. It was too far to drive or I really did not like the food that much. There was always a reason. He finally stopped asking to go.

The restaurant is located on Bayou Manchaca just out of New Orleans. My husband and I live in Baton Rouge. To get to the restaurant we would have to get up on a bridge that went over the Bayou. Every time I got on the bridge it felt like I was up there at least 30 minutes and it seemed as least twenty miles long. By the time I got in to eat I was not enjoying anything about the place. All I could think of was, "I am in the middle of the Bayou and to get out of here I have to get on a bridge!" The "what if" thinking would start and thoughts of how miserable I would be, you would never know to look at me nor could the "average person" understand the way I lived.

Wanda Deal

Then last year (2006) I completed the Attacking Anxiety Program. I did this with the help of my Midwest Center Coach, Janine. I started going back to the restaurant. I would use my skills to relax and began to enjoy myself. One particular Saturday we were there and I was a little edgy. I began concentrating on my skills when all of a sudden an elderly lady began to choke. The waitress tried to help to no avail and finally turned to ask if there was a doctor in the restaurant.

No one came forward. My mind was calm and I remembered the skills I had learned in college. I performed the Heimlich maneuver on the lady and spent some time calming her down. She was fine and went on with her meal. I felt great. And the entire trip home was wonderful. God will provide what we need no matter where we are. Just as He provided me to help her He will provide people to help me. What a wonderful thing to realize. I am not in this thing alone.

I have since then made more trips across that bridge. Practicing my skills and learning new ways to live. About a month ago we headed to the restaurant and I felt very happy about going. The day was clear, the sky blue and the Bayou was beautiful. I watched all the boats and the fishermen. Then it struck me how short that bridge was and that we were only up there for a short time. Wow! My perception of things has changed dramatically. I really thought that bridge was long but it is actually short. I can not remember one "what if" thought from that day.

It is a healing bridge to me. I went over it practicing my skills until I over came the fear. Now I see it as an asset to my life. Every day I do more and more. Life gets easier. It does not happen overnight. I did not develop the anxiety overnight. I let myself dwell in bad situations. Now I let myself dwell in the good. I live in the precious moment. Carolyn commented on the Driving With Comfort tape that progress comes slowly which helped me greatly when I would get impatient. Now that time has passed I am doing more and more. I realize it was worth the work and the study time. I have things to yet conquer and I know they are coming along.

Thank you to all at the Midwest Center for your work and for your caring. May God bless as you continue on your journey.

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