Looking Forward
Carolyn Dickman, Education Director

It's the end of the year, time for evaluation, recognition and renewal. I must confess this has not been my favorite year. Several physical injuries have me behind in losing my behind and several emotional injuries have hurt to my very soul. And then there's that ego thing. There have been more adjustments than usual, and you know how we love change. I have felt lost so many times.

As I try to find my way back to hail and hearty, I face several truths: I am not as young and flexible, mind, body and spirit, as I once was. I am more confident in some ways and less in others. At this stage of life my faults seem more visible.

The plantar fasciitis has healed; the injuries from three falls are gone. I'm back to walking 2 miles as often as I make the time to do so and lifting weights with a trainer 2-3 days a week.

The emotional stuff... still working on it. A young friend gave me a book to read, probably payback for all the books I ask people to read. ...THE 2-MINUTE MIRACLE, by... M. Lynn Reddick, Ph.D., is turning out to be good medicine. From the chapter, Why Forgiving Isn't Enough, "The mind is unable to feel pain, so emotional hurts pass on to the body for either burial or resolution. Don't think, however, that burial means gone for good. Buried hurts become planted in the soil of the subconscious and often sprout in bodily symptoms. In other words, the body reveals what the mind conceals ...When someone is emotionally hurt and withholds forgiveness, resentment begins to germinate deep within..."

/Resentment /was my word this year. Using healthy life management. skills is something I've claimed to be very good at. "Pride goeth. before a fall," a proverb my mother often quoted. That's me, Pride; I. think I listed it weekly when I used to go to confession. I justified. the resentment as often as I thought of all that I'd done for that person. I ruminated and rehashed my list of grievances over and over. The hours, the sacrificed family time, the times I'd been afraid and yet. carried on, when recalled were like fuel to a fire under my heart.

"Resentment becomes a buried seed that produces the fruit of bitterness, depression, and physical illness, often disguising itself in the clothes of justification: "I have the right to feel this way." However, resentment becomes a curse in four areas:

• Physically, it can contribute to illnesses such as stomach ulcers, arthritis, headaches, skin rashes, and cancers
• Emotionally, it will poison the mind and defile the mouth
• Socially, it can destroy our closest friendships, including those with spouse and children
• Spiritually, it will destroy our relationship with God