Relationships, particularly romantic ones, are supposed to bring happiness and joy into our lives. However, for those that find themselves stuck in a controlling relationship, the result can be the exact opposite. Unfortunately, it's often difficult to spot a controller during the beginning stages of a relationship. This may leave you feeling trapped, depressed, heartbroken or emotionally stressed once the truth finally comes out. If you think you or someone you love might be trapped in a controlling relationship, here are some signs to look for:
Rapid Attachment
An abnormally quick attachment to an individual is often the first sign of a controller. Controllers tend to be self-involved and have shallow emotions towards others. However, during the "honeymoon" phase of the romance, it may appear that the individual is selfless, constantly showering you with gifts, praise and devotions of everlasting love. What may seem like love everlasting may in fact be a shallow emotion, which will quickly fade and be replaced by detachment. If your loved one wants to get married soon after you begin dating, it may be a bad sign.
Controllers Have a Mean Streak
If your loved one has a frightening temper, it could stem from a controlling nature. People who are quick to anger or violent often turn out to be controllers. Initial signs of this behavior may include weaving through traffic when they are mad, getting into verbal fights, punching walls and previous history of physical confrontations. After the infatuation period with you wears off, the violence will be directed toward you. This often leads to verbal and/or physical abuse.
Controllers Put You Down
Controllers don't just like to be in charge of your actions, but your emotions as well. Over time, they cut away at your confidence with little remarks about your weight, appearance, intelligence or anything else they can use to lower your self-confidence. In essence, this lowers your self-esteem and confidence so that you eventually grow to believe that you deserve such treatment. Don't let the controller affect your mental health, cause you anxiety or lead you into a world of
panic attacks. If you find your mental health becoming unstable due to a controlling relationship, The Midwest Center
Attacking Anxiety & Depression Program can help you regain your self-empowerment and handle your relationship effectively.
Other Signs of a Controlling Relationship
The signs listed above are perhaps the earliest and most transparent to notice. However, other signs that point to a controlling relationship include:
- Isolating you from friends and family
- Discouraging you from pursuing outside interests
- Perpetually blaming you for their own actions (anger, cheating, yelling, etc.)
- Embarrassing you in public
- Constantly discounting your feelings
- Cycling through mean and nice streaks
Avoiding controlling relationships can be difficult because some signs show up after you've already experienced some of the negative effects. If you find yourself stressed out by your relationship, you should seek professional help or enroll in a self-help program like The Midwest Center
Attacking Anxiety & Depression Program.
