High Self-Esteem vs Low Self -Esteem
Low Self-Esteem - People with low self-esteem judge themselves according to how they are doing in the immediate present. Even if they are doing well, they need positive reinforcement from an outside source to validate their accomplishment and counteract their inner negativity.High Self-Esteem - People with high self-esteem have the ability to assess their situation and accept their strengths and limitations (which is part of being human). Thus, win, lose, or draw, they still value themselves unconditionally.
What Does Your Inner Voice Say?
Our life experiences are always with us in the form of an inner voice. People with healthy self-esteem have a reassuring and positive inner voice. For people with low self-esteem, the inner voice is a harsh inner critic that constantly berates and belittles accomplishments. This inner criticism manifests in devastating ways, as it creates a cycle/downward spiral.Downward Spiral
Low self-esteem creates:
- Anxiety, stress, and loneliness that can lead to depression
- Problems with friendships and relationships
- Impaired academic and job performance
- Underachievement and vulnerability to alcohol and drug abuse
1st Step to Better Self-Esteem
Rebuke The Inner CriticIssue: The I.C. is unfairly harsh
IC: “The teacher said that he liked my presentation, but I know that he was just being nice. I screwed that up left and right.”
Response: Be reassuring
R: “Wow, he liked my project, even though I stammered in a few places. That must have been pretty darn good! I’m proud of myself!”
Issue: The I.C. makes unrealistic generalizations
IC: “An F. I’m such a moron. I don’t even deserve to be in school.”
Response: Be specific
R: “Well I could have done better on that test, but I seemed to have the subject matter nailed in the homework. I guess that there are some things here that I don’t know as well as I thought that I did. I’ll figure it out. I’ve passed more difficult classes than this one in the past.”
Issue: The I.C. Makes Negative Assumptions
IC: “She looks disgusted. I just know that she thinks I’m a loser.”
Response: Rationalizer
R: “Geez, she is not happy. She must be having a bad day. Maybe I should ask her.”
Realizing that you are your own worst critic is easy. Realizing that you are in control of the way in which you perceive yourself is empowering. Taking the reins and turning your negative thoughts into positive thoughts is liberating. Join the Attacking Anxiety & Depression Program now and start fresh with the knowledge to cope with criticism and manage your inner voice.
