By Lucinda Bassett
Hello Everyone,I just returned from a wedding anniversary trip to Europe with my husband David. It was a wonderful experience, but boy was it an experience in relinquishing control! It made me think about traveling and how stressful it can be, especially in these changing times, and I thought it might be fun to share my experience with you. Maybe you can relate, or you can find some helpful insight for your next trip. If you have anxieties about traveling, then maybe this will give you the inspiration you need to work on your fears and phobias so you can experience more of life.
Giving Up Control When Traveling
First, like many of you, I don’t love to fly. I do it and I do it often, but I don’t love it. It seems it is so much work anymore just getting checked in, getting through security, and getting to the plane. Unfortunately, these were tickets we purchased at an auction and sometimes those come with stipulations. Ours did. For one thing we had to fly out of Chicago (we live in LA.) so that meant a very long day of flying. First we had to fly four hours to Chicago, and then we had a 10-hour flight to Milan. This can be a nightmare for those with airplane phobias or anxieties. We almost missed our flight due to such long lines, and our seats weren’t together. This was just the beginning of “giving up control” and rolling with the flow.Staying Present in the Moment
In Europe, the rooms are small, often the hotels don’t have “non smoking” rooms, and everyone, it seems, smokes. I have horrible allergies to smoke and diesel fumes, both of which are thick in Europe. Europeans move much more slowly than we do. It would be easy to give into stress and anxiety when adjusting to these changes. There were times we waited almost an hour for our check, and my husband and I are not the world’s most patient people; we are both type A personalities. We were forced to slow down.Also, we traveled by city train, which was a very interesting experience that I wouldn’t recommend. The toilets flush directly through to the tracks below, just to give you some idea of the accommodations. In addition, on many days it was very hot and humid and it rained on some of our greatest plans. But, as I mentioned earlier, it was an amazing trip. I reminded myself that I have limited control and that feeling anxious doesn’t help anything.
Letting Go of Expectations to Live in the Moment
I figured out early on in the trip that if I was going to enjoy this to its fullest potential, I had to ease up, let go of my expectations, and see the whole thing as an adventure. After all, David and I haven’t taken a trip alone for over six years. I had never been to any of these wonderful places, and it was an exciting new experience. I had put a lot of stress on my expectations. But now many of them weren’t coming to fruition.Making Preparations for a Trip Abroad
In retrospect I would have done some things differently. For example, I should have packed much lighter. I didn’t wear half the clothes I packed. You walk a lot in Europe so heels and fancy clothes are unnecessary. You end up wearing the same comfortable things, jeans and tennis shoes.Also, I should have taken a sleeping aid for the long flights. Not just for the anxiety of being stuck on a long flight, but just to rest up for the trip that follows landing and avoid boredom.
I am so against “taking pills” that I didn’t bring anything along, but it would have been extremely helpful to have something. Halfway into the 10-hour flight to Milan, I found myself awake and alone watching The Cat in the Hat. It was weird.
Third, I would have taken music to enjoy. European TV gets old quickly and it would have been nice to hear some familiar music, and to have it on the plane to help me relax. (I actually did take an I-pod that my daughter got for me for my birthday, but she forgot to tell me to put it on hold while traveling and the battery wore out before I even used it!)
One of the most important things I realized about overseas travel was that I should have taken medication for allergies, antibiotics, and everything and anything else we might have needed in the way of pills. Even simple, over the counter medications, like Tylenol for example, are impossible to get in Europe.
Making Discoveries and Adjusting to Lack of Control
But as the days unfolded and I adjusted to the lack of control and familiarity…I really enjoyed myself. We walked in the rain in Milan. We laughed and cuddled on the crazy train ride up and down mountains through never ending pitch-black tunnels. (At one time this would have given me tremendous anxiety!)We discovered new foods, met interesting people, and saw some of the most beautiful places in the world. I can easily remember a time in my life when all of these things would have felt impossible because of the anxiety, panic, and depression that I experienced.
One of the highlights was riding behind David on a scooter, twisting and turning on winding roads through little coastal towns in Italy. We got a close up view of older people tending their gardens and teenagers flirting in the warm summer sun. We accidentally came upon a full production of an amazing opera in a park in front of a castle. On another day we had lunch on a deserted island in the rain on Lake Como. It was all so wonderful and such a gift to be able to do this with my husband of 23 years. Just think, that none of these things would have felt possible if I had continued to live in the shadow of depression, anxiety, and panic attacks.
Thankfulness for Living in the Moment
I know that years ago when my anxiety was at its peak, I wouldn’t even have gone to Europe, due to fear of flying on such long flights. And, I would have been so upset about all the things that I couldn’t control once I got there, that I would have let it ruin the trip. Thank God I don’t live like that anymore. Thank God I can live in the moment, let go, accept, and enjoy life without excessive anxiety ruining my day.I hope this letter motivates you to take some chances. I hope it motivates you to get better. I hope it shows you how living with anxiety and depression isn’t living fully. If I can do it you can do it. Everyone should visit Europe in his or her lifetime. Don’t let anxiety keep you from seeing and experiencing the world. Make it a goal. A reward for recovery…
Till next time... “Ciao!”
Lucinda
