by Tarah Spencer-Newfield, CSW Midwest Center Healthcare Affiliate
Getting Help for Anxiety and Depression from the Midwest Center’s Program
Like many of you, I saw the Midwest Center infomercial on T.V. in the wee hours of the morning - many times. I knew that I liked to be in control at all times and that this feeling created a lot of stress and anxiety in my life.. I had high expectations of myself that created stress, anxiety, and sadness. I didn’t like to fail. I certainly felt that people should listen better. And I had some difficulty saying no without feeling guilty (primarily at work). I sent away for the tapes and workbook many years ago.When they came, I read the instructions and proceeded to follow the program as suggested. Part way through the process a friend asked me what I was doing because she noticed a difference in me. My friend decided to buy the program based on my results so she could reduce her levels of anxiety and stress as well.
Stressful Lives Need Stress Manage Skills
My name is Tarah Spencer Newfield and I am a certified social worker. I work in a private hospital in New York City primarily in the emergency room as well as with some inpatients with a variety of mental and mood disorders. I also have a part time psychotherapy practice in which I have seen many people suffering from depression and anxiety who have purchased the Midwest Center program. I also see recovering addicts, people in transition, and those people who want help in changing aspects of their lives so they can be happier. In addition, I facilitate groups for the MS Society (Multiple Sclerosis).How the Program Helps Me Reduce Stress
How does the program help me with my work in the ER?
To begin with, I wear a beeper at the hospital, which can go off at any time and for any reason. What kind of case will it be? A death, abuse, sexual, or other assault? Will it involve a child, adult, elderly person, addict, or a missing or homeless person to name a few? So much for being in control! Without stress management skills, my anxiety would be unbearable in these situations. There was a time in my life when I needed to have my ducks in a row to feel comfortable. Now I actually thrive on the spontaneity and unpredictability of my day. The unknown feels exciting!Sometimes when I get a call to see a patient and the MD, PA (physician’s assistant) or RN tells me what the issue is I feel a moment of anxiety. How will I solve the problem?
What if l can’t solve this problem? I control my anxiety in those moments by reminding myself that 98-99% of the time the issues mentioned by the referring person are not the issues that I find when I see the patient and make my own assessment. I also remind myself that over the years there have been only one or two times when I have not been able to solve a problem. Some ER staff members call me the “miracle social worker” (MSW stands for Master of Social Work).
Staying Focused in the Moment
In working with patients and medical personnel I need to stay focused and be in the moment. People have asked me how I can work with rape, domestic violence, or child abuse survivors without falling into depression. I tell myself that I cannot make these things “unhappen” but I can be part of the solution. I tell adult patients that there are two aspects to an incident - the event itself and what happens afterward. I help them feel empowered by separating what they cannot control and what they have some control over. Over time, this perspective of control can reduce their sense of anxiety about the event.Learning to Put Events in Perspective
For the first four years I worked at the hospital, every time the ER paged me, I responded immediately by coming to the ER. After four years I suddenly “got it” that not every page from the ER was an emergency. I still remember the first time I responded differently. An RN paged me about a patient who wanted to talk about insurance - clearly not an emergency. I was outside the hospital “at lunch” taking care of myself. I told the RN that I was at lunch and I would be happy to see the patient if he wanted to wait a half an hour for me. In my mind, whatever decision the patient made would be fine with me. I cut down on stress, took care of myself by doing something in a different way, i.e. being more realistic.Learning to Live with High Expectations
I still have high expectations of myself and others as well, but I have learned to keep those expectations without creating a lot of anxiety for myself. I know that there will be a few occasions when I will not be able to come up with a solution to a problem. If I do have a “failure,” this does not mean that I am a “failure.” I still get upset when others in the ER don’t follow protocol. I can give 110% most of the time (knowing what I can and cannot control). This also helps reduce my feelings of anger and anxiety.Reducing Stress and Anxiety by Learning to Prioritize
There are some days in the ER when it seems that every MD has a case for me. I call these stressful days “bakery days.” In busy bakeries you have to take a number and wait your turn. On those days, I need to prioritize, prioritize, and prioritize! Prioritizing and being realistic about time constraints helps me reduce the stress and anxiety of trying to meet everyone’s needs perfectly. Some days I can’t see everyone. That doesn’t mean that I have failed and I don’t have to feel depressed and anxious about it. Injecting some humor into a stressful situation also helps make things more manageable.Learning to Work Within the Situation
I still feel people should listen better. It amazes me how pervasive not really listening is. I have to say to myself, perhaps there is a reason why this person is not listening - being overwhelmed themselves, having a bad day etc. Keeping the unknown in mind reduces the stress I experience in these situations. If I think that someone has not really listened to what I have said I might ask a question to bring them back to the moment at hand.I feel very grateful to be doing work that has an immediate impact on the lives of others - when they are so vulnerable. Over the years how I do my job in the ER has evolved as I have grown and changed. This makes my work feel fresh and continually fulfilling.
