by Lucinda Bassett
Hello Everyone,Well here it is: a new year. I found myself exhausted and overwhelmed by the end of the holidays. Too much travel, too much busy work, too many people pulling at me, and too many people to please. It felt like an endless cycle of things to do. I found myself wondering when everyone was going to “finally” get it together and not be so needy. I found myself wondering when my kids were finally going to be happy, satisfied, and appreciative. I found myself wondering when other people in our lives will appreciate all we do in an attempt to keep everyone “happy.” I found myself wondering when I was going to “finally” slow down and not feel so pressured. But life will never be that perfect because people aren’t perfect. Does it sound like I am whining? I am!
One Thing After Another
If it’s not one thing, it’s another… another video from Bin Laden, global warming, earthquakes and hurricanes. It seems like there are always things to worry about or do. And on top of all that, I turn 50 in a few months! Let me just say that I know I am lucky to be here and healthy. I know that I am very fortunate for a zillion reasons. But I am still human and I still get frustrated. I thought some of you might enjoy relating to the frustrations and anxieties I’ve been experiencing lately.Perspectives on Getting Older
I have “slowly” been getting my life back on track. Relatives have gone home, kids are back in school, and my routine is resurfacing. I tried to find some “self” time to put things in perspective. (My mother keeps reminding me that someday I will possibly be alone and have “too much” time to myself. I can’t imagine!) In my soul searching I came to realize that turning 50 is more challenging than I thought it would be, but that doesn’t make it a negative experience. It churns up all sorts of emotions. I don’t have as much energy as I used to have. My body is changing in all sorts of ways… and I don’t like most of them! I get unhappy about these changes because I don’t feel as “fun” or as “pretty” as I did. People who haven’t turned 50 say, “Oh, it’s no big deal.” That’s what I used to say. But it is a big deal! It is such a milestone in your life.Getting Comfortable with the Imperfections in Life
But there are some good things about turning 50. For example, you become more accepting of imperfection and you learn to live it without as much anxiety or frustration. With age, you begin to understand that there is no perfect life, no “fear-free world” (at least not yet), no perfect holiday, no perfect relative, child, parent, marriage, friend, etc. No one ever totally gets it together, your kids never stop needing you, and no one will ever totally appreciate all you do.The key is getting comfortable with the fact that life will never be perfect or stress free. You need to change your attitude about it, and get better at accepting what is so that you can appreciate the goods thing without letting the negative things create so much anxiety, depression, and frustration that you lose perspective. And you need to live in the moment, savoring the special times.
Using a Positive Perspective
It is my nature and “my job” to stay focused on the positive. Doing so reduces stress, anxiety, and frustration. Yesterday I took my dogs out for our daily walk and thought about my good fortune to turn 50. I am healthy, my family is healthy…this, of course, is the most important thing. I have a great marriage of almost 25 years. I still look pretty good and have managed to remain “au natural.” I still get to be “the anxiety lady” and help hundreds of thousands of people get their lives back from depression and anxiety. And I get to work with wonderful, big-hearted people. Our kids love us dearly and, although they aren’t perfect, they are both thriving. And, my mother is still around to be my biggest fan. Life is good at 50.Till next time…
Lucinda
