Good Grief
Grief is a natural and healthy reaction to loss. Unfortunately, it entails an incredible amount of mental anguish, and it can be prolonged, causing extreme emotional distress. In short, healthy as it is, grief is a horrible experience. People can experience grief for months or years, and may never stop missing a deceased person, but thankfully, the pain will eventually lessen.
Causes of Grief
Any major loss can result in grieving, especially the death of a loved one. Parents can grieve for a miscarriage, and partners can grieve from divorce. Major lifestyle changes are also a source of grief, such as a disability, the loss of a job, or the loss of a home. Grief responses are also recurring with the passing of anniversaries and holidays that remind us of our loss.
Easy to Recognize
The indications of grief are readily apparent to those of us who have experienced it in the past. The symptoms are physical as well as emotional. Grieving people are often sad and prone to sighing and exhibiting the “thousand yard stare” as they long for the people and things which have been lost. Shock, denial and anger surface, and guilt often follows. In the throes of these powerful emotions we often develop unhealthy eating habits, and either abstain from or indulge in sleeping. Weight gain or loss and feelings of ongoing fatigue are common in dealing with grief. There are considered to be five
stages of grief - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, but these are not experienced in a linear fashion, and some people skip certain stages altogether.
Grief is Not an Illness
Most people who suffer from grief do not seek or require counseling. This is not to suggest that counseling is not helpful, and in some cases it can be very necessary for thoroughly experiencing the loss in a healthy way. What is not healthy, is avoiding facing the grief and loss. Suppressing these powerful emotions can lead to serious physical and or emotional problems later in life. Self-help programs, like The Midwest Center's
Attacking Anxiety & Depression Program, are available to assist those with problems opening up to others about their problems.
Expressing Grief Allows Healing to Begin
The negative physical effects of grief can be defeated with attention to a regular eating schedule, and a healthy diet with exercise. Long-term negative emotional impact can only be averted through sharing the experience with others. Telling someone how you feel and just exactly what you are going through is the only way to work through the pain of loss.
Professional Sharing
When professional help is desirable, interpersonal therapy (IPT), is often the first choice. This is one -on-one discussion. Group therapy is also found to be helpful. It is important to recognize the difference between grieving and major or clinical depression. Grieving is a natural response to loss while depression is a serious pathological condition that requires professional attention. People experiencing grief focus on who or what was lost, while depressed people focus on their role in the loss. If someone is showing signs of clinical depression, including discussion of wishing to join the deceased, or expressions of extreme loss of self-esteem, a professional evaluation is a good idea. The
Attacking Anxiety & Depression Program is a great complement to therapy, but professional help shouldn't be replaced entirely by enrollment in a self-help program.
