Being a Teenager is Tough Enough
Our teenage years are a turbulent and difficult time emotionally, without the experiences of loss and grief. It is in our teenage years that we develop our own sense of identity and self-worth and the physical and hormonal changes that accompany this time can be a handful for parent and teen. Often conflict within the family unit occurs at this time, and the loss of a family member or loved one can produce additional complexity for the home. These pre-existing struggles make bereavement for a teen an exceptionally difficult situation. Do Teens Grieve Like Adults?
Teenagers grieve deeply, much as adults grieve, but they are still defining themselves and endeavor to project what they believe society expects of them as men and women. Thus, teens are prone to suppressing their emotions. Girls do so to appear strong for the family, and boys tend to maintain their image of machismo as men. They may appear to be unaffected even as the grief is tearing them to shreds on the inside. Typically, teens seek distraction to avoid fully experiencing the loss. This can be very unhealthy both physically and mentally, if suppressed emotions are not inevitably expressed. How Can I Get My Kid to Talk to Me?
If you are the parent of a teenager, you already know that you are probably not the teen’s primary confidant. They prefer to share their emotional experiences with their peers, because they feel that their peers are the only ones who can truly understand what they are going through. In order to gain the trust and confidence of a teen, you must become a good listener. Encourage them to share their thoughts and ideas without reacting in a judgmental or overly advisory fashion. Just listen. Then share with them what you are going through and the methods with which you deal with the grief. Teenagers are not known for making personal exchanges like this easy, so don’t be discouraged if your first attempt at communication is not what you had hoped. What About Peer Counseling?
Teenagers are most open with other teenagers, so peer counseling is a smart option. Because teens are willing to communicate their experiences to other teens, peer counseling is a very effective form of therapy. It allows the grieving teenager to express their pain in an open and healthy way. If there are deeper issues as a result of the loss, then the counselor can steer the teen to other sources of help. Support Groups
Peer support groups are also very effective, and in some cases, they can be more effective than individual counseling. Groups allow the teens to share their stories and to know that they are not alone in their experience. Support groups reinforce for the teen that they are understood, accepted and supported.
There are many ways to help someone get through the grief process or to help yourself get through your own struggles with grief and bereavement. Self-help programs like The Midwest Center's Attacking Anxiety & Depression Program assist victims of grief to develop coping methods and stress and anxiety management plans.
