From leaving your child with a babysitter to starting the first day of school, teary tantrums are a fairly normal part of life during the early years of childhood. While some separation anxiety is perfectly normal, it can reach a point where it interferes with both your life and your child’s well-being. By understanding some of the causes of separation anxiety, you can start utilizing techniques that can minimize the stress and disturbance that separation creates.
The Early Stages of Separation Anxiety
During early infancy, most babies can stay with other caregivers without experiencing separation anxiety. Between the ages of four to eight months, however, many children realize that when their parents are not in sight, it means that they have left. The child has no way of knowing when you will return, which leads to the stress, crying and tantrums that characterize separation anxiety.
In some cases, you do not even need to actually leave your child in the care of another adult for separation anxiety to occur. For example, your child may be perfectly happy playing in the living room as long as you are present. If you were to get up and go to the kitchen where you would be out of sight, your child might begin to fuss or cry once he or she realizes that you are no longer nearby.
Coping With Separation Anxiety
Some separation is normal and all parents should expect to deal with it at some point in their child’s life. However, it is important to deal with this anxiety effectively in order to prevent it from progressing into a much more serious separation anxiety disorder. By helping your child deal with this anxiety, you can ensure that he or she will be safe, happy and free from chronic worry.
A useful way treat separation anxiety is to utilize positive rewards for good behavior. Instead of punishing a child who refuses to go to school or who cries whenever you leave the house, focus on providing rewards when your child engages in positive behavior. For example, if your child usually refuses to go with the babysitter, offer a reward when the child actually does make any movements toward the babysitter. Treats, toys, books and fun activities are all excellent ways to reward a child for good behavior.
Another strategy is to find ways to keep your child’s mind off of the separation anxiety. Coloring, playing games, listening to music and watching television are all possible ways that you could distract your child from an anxiety-provoking situation.
If separation anxiety becomes so severe that your child is impossible to manage, it is important to seek professional help. A therapist or doctor may choose from range of treatment options, including cognitive behavioral therapy or even anti-anxiety medications for the most extreme cases of separation anxiety.
